What Matters To Me
Receiving a serious diagnosis can be overwhelming. It comes with difficult choices about treatments, potential side effects, and
outcomes. In these moments, one of the most important things is to reflect on what truly matters to you—your values, priorities,
and wishes for your health and well-being.
Before starting any complex treatment, consider having these three key conversations:
1. A Conversation with Your Doctor
Your first discussion should be a fact-finding session with your doctor. There are no ‘stupid’ questions when it comes to your health. Asking the right questions can help you make informed decisions about your care:
✅ What are the risks of this treatment?
✅ What side effects should I expect?
✅ What are the benefits of this treatment?
✅ Are there simpler, safer, or alternative treatment options?
✅ Is this test, procedure, or treatment absolutely necessary?
✅ What happens if I choose not to proceed with this treatment?
✅ Are there lifestyle changes or other ways I can support my health?
2. A Conversation with Someone You Trust
After gathering medical information, it’s important to talk through your thoughts with someone who knows you well—a spouse, partner, close friend, or a trusted medical professional. If the conversation feels difficult, a professional counsellor may also help.
Consider writing your thoughts down in a journal or notebook as you reflect on:
My Health
- How do I currently understand my health condition?
- How much information do I want about what lies ahead?
About Me
- What does a “good day” look like for me?
(e.g., getting dressed, seeing friends, spending time with family, playing with a pet) - What does a “hard day” look like?
(e.g., staying in bed, not wanting to talk, feeling pain or fatigue) - What personal goals do I have, even if my health declines?
My Care Preferences
- How much medical information do I want to receive?
- Just the basics
- All the details
- How involved do I want to be in medical decisions?
- I trust my healthcare team to decide
- I want to be involved in every decision
- What are my biggest concerns about treatment?
- Receiving too much medical intervention
- Not receiving enough care
- How much treatment am I willing to undergo to extend my life?
- I prefer comfort-focused care
- I want every possible medical intervention
- Where would I prefer to be if my health worsens?
- In a healthcare facility
- At home, if possible
My Fears and Worries
- What do I worry about most regarding my care?
(e.g., pain management, being a burden on my family, the financial impact of my treatment)
My Strengths and Values
- What gives me strength during difficult times?
(e.g., family, faith, personal resilience, hobbies) - What abilities are most important for my quality of life?
(e.g., recognizing loved ones, being able to communicate, living without severe pain) - If my health declines, what matters more to me?
- Extending my life as much as possible
- Prioritizing quality of life over length of life
My Wishes and Preferences
- What do I want to ensure DOES happen in my care?
(e.g., staying independent, returning home, doctors respecting my wish for comfort care) - What do I want to ensure DOES NOT happen?
(e.g., being alone, excessive medical intervention, experiencing severe pain) - Who should make medical decisions on my behalf if I am unable to do so?
3. A Final Conversation with Your Doctor
Now that you have gathered medical facts, reflected on your values, and discussed your wishes, it’s time for a final conversation with your doctor. You may bring a trusted family member or friend to support you.
In this discussion, you and your doctor can:
✅ Review your treatment options and decide the best course of action
✅ Discuss the possibility of declining certain treatments
✅ Ensure your medical team understands your values and priorities
Taking Control of Your Health Journey
By having these three important conversations, you empower yourself to make informed, meaningful decisions about your
health. Your care should always align with what matters most to you.